Our Weekend

The tent I made for the kids

Inside the tent

It stayed up the ENTIRE weekend

The weekend went by way to fast, as usual. Gordon is going to New York tomorrow and won't be home until Friday, boo, but on the up side, he lands around noon and is coming straight home, thus starting the LOOOONNNG weekend for Labor Day, so that is something to look forward too.

We had fun though, we went to the beach Saturday and Sunday, which was much needed. The beach is such a great place for rejuvenating, I know I say that every time we go, but it really is, something about the sun, the sound of the waves crashing, the smell of the ocean, its so great!

I faced a fear on Sunday, I went ALL the way in. I never do that, I have this fear of the unknown, the stuff I can't see. I have been telling myself for a the past year that if I am going to LIVE here, 2 blocks from the ocean I really need to just get over it. I am missing out on all the fun. So gripping the hand of my friend, Claudia, sorry if I broke your fingers C!!! We ventured out. I had so much fun and I was not even scared once I got out there, jumping over and going under waves. Letting them carry us back to shore then running out again, next time we are bringing a body board, oh and I want to learn to surf now :) YEA ME!!

I am really excited because our small group is going to officially start meeting again, in two weeks after school gets back and everything is settled from summer. We are doing the Fireproof Series, and Gordon and I can't wait! We (him and I) have also decided that we are going to go through the Love Dare book, so that will be fun.

Also accomplished this weekend, we FINALLY got everything Ethan needs for school, uniforms, supplies, lunch box, shoes, socks and undies :) WHEW so glad thats done!

Ok thats about it for now, I hope you all have a fantastic week!!

Mel x

10 weeks, 5 days pregnant

Meeting #1

So we had our first meeting with our midwife last Friday. It was so great, especially because all of her visits will be done in our home, so no need for a babysitter, or to try and keep kids occupied while in doctors office.

She was so nice, and so helpful. She answered all of our questions, we talked about previous pregnancies, this pregnancy so far, previous births, how I felt about them, what I wanted differently. She gave lots of examples of different situations she had been in and how she dealt with them.

We discussed fees, and how to get the most out of our insurance, which should be 100% but due to "ignorance" it can be a struggle, but that is an entirely different blog.

We are just so so excited, she is coming back for another appt on Sept 5. Hopefully we will hear a heartbeat then :)

If anyone is interested or curious about midwives and homebirth, etc. I really love Ricki Lakes documentary "The Business of Being Born". Its very informative about he US healthcare system surrounding birth and I found it so so interesting.

Thats it for now.

Mel xoxo

9 weeks 5 days pregnant

Cash for Car

Well we did it, we saved enough cash to buy a car and have no car payment, yea! Well we still have one for G car, but we are working on getting that paid off. Baby steps people! Its not a clunker either, well maybe it could be traded as one right now under the government thing, but its really not. Its in good condition even though its 9 years old, and it hold all my kids, and has room for all the "stuff". I never thought I would be so happy and content to get an "old" car. Isn't it interesting how God can change your priorities :)

2000 Jeep Grand Cherokee

Moving on.... some sad news, the first friend I ever made here in California is moving tomorrow. Miranda and her family are moving to Hawaii, Ethan and her son, Jaylen, were in Kindergarten this past year together and we have had some fantastic times together and I really am going to miss them. Below is a pic we took today of the kids, Ethan, my friends two, and our other friend, Claudia's, kids, they were quite the brat pack all of them together.

From left: Jade, Ethan, Jade, Jaylen, Skye

Well I think thats it, oh except we have our first midwife appointment on Friday, and I am SO excited. I can't wait to get going with the whole homebirth process. I am going to do a video blog of that whole process, so I will post a link to that on Friday after its finished. I really want to get the awareness out that giving birth is not an illness, and its not something to be feared. Its a beautiful, natural process that we have all become a little to "clinical" about, in my opinion, and I just think it would be nice to share our story. So enjoy. Have a great week.

Mel xoxo

BLAH

Ok I think I need some female reassurance or something. The last few days I have really felt down. Like maybe depressed but not sure?! I feel ugly, fat, and sick. I haven't done laundry all week ( my wonderful husband has been doing it in the evenings), my house is a mess, I haven't cooked a single meal since I have been back, unless you count mac-n-cheese or pb&j (and thats for dinner people!).

I know its probably just this whole first trimester thing, but I really don't remember feeling this bad with the other two, and I DID NOT have this horrific "bump" which at this point, lets be honest, must be fat, with the other two either!!! I feel like I am failing miserably at mommyhood and being a good wife.

G has been great, he keeps reassuring me that its fine, he's fine, I look fine, he doesn't mind. But you all know that sometimes those reassurances just don't quite cut it, not into the deep corners of your mind. I feel panicky, and just kind of sad.

Maybe I am just grieving the loss of my beloved Granny, but logically I know its all going to be ok, she is in a better place, etc, etc. I can't distinguish between grieving for her and just feeling crap because I am pregnant and in the wonderful first trimester?!?!?!

SO if anyone has anything they would like to comment, or whatever, it would be nice. Anyone ever felt this way?? That would be nice to hear to. Thanks.

Mel xoxo

Craving...

Current Cravings

Hot Dogs with mustard, cheese, and pickle
Orange juice mixed with sparkling water
Cereal (any kind)
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Birthday Cake (buttercream frosting people, not that whipped cream crap)
AND thanks to Kelli Moss' post the other day, I would love some Chocolate Pie :)

Ethan got a haircut (trim) today finally. Here are some before and afters.

Before

After

I also just need to let everyone know what an amazing little man I have. I think he is the greatest big brother and will most definitely make a wonderful and caring daddy someday (should he choose that path in life) This morning I walked into the living room to see him and Addison on the chair and h had piled all the stuffed toys around her and covered her up, they sat there happy has clams for quite a long time.

Yes I know the chair is ugly, but I got this great deal on two oversized armcharis for $75 on craigslist, I just need some really great slipcovers, look how big just one is :)

Then later on, they were in the back and I saw Ethan buckling her into her stroller, it was such a precious moment, because he was being so gentle and sweet. I hope the love stays between them.

I am really glad to be back in HB, but I am missing my family. This is a fragile time for everyone, and I do wish I could be there for them.

However, life goes on, and so we must.

Mel xoxo

Sandra Kay Finney Jan 21 1943-Aug 3 2009

It happened last night, it happened really fast. My granny passed away. I cant believe the whirlwind it has been since my last blog post. I posted that with the thought that SOMEDAY she was going to die. Not 3 weeks from then. I arrived in town on July 16, Thursday. I was so excited to visit my granny the next day, its what I look forward to the most when I come back to town. We got up early Friday and came right down. We spent the whole day just sitting in the living room talking, I got to tell her I was pregnant again, we ate ice cream sandwiches and just enjoyed the day. She seemed ok, she was smiling and sitting up and fine. That was Friday, July 17.

I came back on Sunday, July 26. She didn't know I was coming and was not her usual happy, talkative self. She was in pain and even though she tried to sit in the living room, she kept just dozing off while sitting up and trying to hide her pain. It was a hard day, When I left I kissed her and told her I would see her on Tuesday before I left (which was supposed to be Wed July 28). Monday afternoon my mom called me to say she had been in Muskogee all day because my granny had woke up, and asked for all her kids to be with her because she felt like it was the end. I came down on Tuesday and my heart broke. My granny was not my granny anymore. She was in serious pain, she could not get out of bed, she looked exhausted. The hospice nurse, Nancy, who deserves a blog post of her own because even though I only met her on Tues, is wonderful, she came over on Tues. My entire family was here and she basically had "the talk" with us. She said that this was it, my granny was ready to die, her body was done, and to not expect to her to live through the weekend.
WHAT how can you comprehend the thought of 4 more days with someone that you love. Our family just rallied. We slept in the floor, we took turns at her bedside, we talked to her, we held her hand. Watching my grandpa slowly let go was amazing. We had a few "scares" throughout the rest of the week, which I think was a good thing in the end, because we were all able to go through the initial emotions a few times, feel them and deal with them. By the time Sat, Aug 1 rolled around everyone was very tired and a little confused because she was holding strong, and even though she was "out of it" she didn't seem like she was near death. Sunday came and went. Monday around noon it started down hill. We got the call at 10pm that this really was it, me, my mom, and my sister all jumped in the car and got down to Muskogee. We pulled up to the house at 11:15pm, ran in, my mom leaned over her and said "Mama, its ok I am here, you can go now" and my beautiful, strong, loving Granny looked right at my mother, and took her last breath.

It was surreal, it was beautiful, it was horrible. She died just how she wanted. She had all 6 of her kids, 5 of her grandkids and her husband with her.

I am going to miss her more than I can even say. I hope that my life can honor her life.

Mel xoxo