Best Day Ever.....

June 6, 2009 will be forever in my memory. It was the day my husband was baptized. We have been married for 7 years, and in the beginning, when I knew we didn't share a faith, I didn't care. I had just been through so much with "church and religion" that I didn't much care for it, or think I needed or wanted it. I thought we were madly in love and that would get us through. I thought that if what I had seen of Christianity was what it was, then I would rather be with someone who had a genuine heart.

Thus started our life together, we had a child, went through some rough times, had another child. All the while I am growing as a person, and my own beliefs kept creeping into my mind. I did my best to push them aside, but I kept feeling this need, this desire to be reconnected to my faith. So we went to church sometimes, Gordon never objected, he said he would go to "support me", but to be honest I found it to hard to do that, knowing he didn't believe at all. So we just didn't go mostly.

When we moved to California, we started going to church again, off and on. Gordon asked a lot of questions, and he started listening to the christian radio station, ya know the one with all the preaching.

In March of this year we started attending our current church regularly. I still had a really hard time because it was really really hard especially at the end when they do the altar call and I would be praying with all my might that he would step down there, but he didn't. Then in April we had a big huge conversation, and he told me that he believed. It was a BIG conversation, I was shocked, happy, shocked, happy :)

Soon after we attended our churches 1o1 class, and afterwards Gordon met with a guy, Phil, and they talked for awhile. Gordon prayed with Phil and the next day after service Gordon was baptized.

God is faithful, and miracles happen. Our lives are forever changed, and our marriage is more than I ever dreamed possible.

Blessings..

So my mom was here visiting this past weekend, and it was way to short but so great to have her here. The kids just love nanny and I enjoy the break :)

Loving their nanny

So Saturday my mom and I go out shopping for a couple hours and when we got home I noticed that the table in front of our house was all decorated cute like for a party. I immediately ask my mom what is going on and she is like "I have no idea", yea right!! So we go in the front door and there are all these people yelling surprise, and I am like "WHAT", it was a surprise birthday party for me!!! (yes my bday was a few weeks ago, but they wanted to throw it when my mom was here). I couldn't believe it, it was so pretty and nice, and more importantly I think I go around thinking that no one really likes me, or wants to be my friend, and yet here were all these people that I know and they were here for me, at my party!! It really made me think that instead of walking around not trusting people, or not believing that someone is just being nice to be because they have to be, that people REALLY do consider me their friend. I know kind of stupid to be so pessimistic but I have trust issues I guess, and I really get down on myself about who I am, and I need to believe more in the fact that I am worthy of friendship. BLAH BLAH ok, moving on.....

In their party hats :)

I don't have any pics because G said he couldn't find our camera, but it really was pretty. My friend, Claudia, who organized and decorated the whole thing did a wonderful job, I can't thank her enough!!

Gordon and Ethan carved out his pumpkin that he got at the school's pumpkin patch. He was so excited to put the candles in it and light them. He doesn't seem to understand why we can't leave the candles on ALL night, so every night is an entire discussion as to why we can't.

drawing the face

proud boy

Ethans favorite part

We had our first and most likely only ultrasound yesterday. We DID NOT find out the sex of the baby, even though it was super hard not too. We think that surprise moment will be amazing. Everything looks great with the baby, all healthy and right on schedule. The main reason I wanted to get the ultrasound was to make sure the placenta was nice and high, and not at all low lying. Great news, its on the top :) So that is just one more blessing, because that will not be an issue at all during the home birth.

Baby #3 at 18weeks

Today at MOPS was so fun, we had a swap meet, so everyone brought at least 5 items in, and then you just got to go through and pick out whatever you wanted, FOR FREE. So that was awesome!! I feel like I am starting to make some good friends there, one of the girls is trying to organize for our table to meet up for a night at a spa for reflexology and pedicures :) FUN.

Ethan and Addison amaze me daily. Ethan really is turning into such an amazing little guy. He is so kind with Addison (when he's not annoying her), and he tells her she is beautiful, and that he likes her new cute dress, or whatever. He tries to show her how to do things. Its so so sweet.

Addison's personality is really really developing, she is stubborn, super super funny. Loves to talk (wish I could understand her), likes to just hang out next to anyone, as long as someone is near her, she is happy.

Addison would not take of Ethans helmet this morning

The new baby is getting really active in the belly. Kicks constantly, even the ultrasound tech said it was a really active baby, hehe just as I was typing that I got a big kick :) I so can't wait to meet him/her. We are ready to just have this person in our family and settle into to being a family of 5!!!

Ok thats about it for now. Not much planned this weekend, just relaxing with my favorite people. Hope you are all doing well.

Mel x

Violation?

So yesterday Ethan got a note sent home saying that he was in violation of the dress code, in that his hair was too long. I know he is going to a private, Christian school, but come on people its 2009 not 1959, oh and we live in CALIFORNIA in a beach town. Needless to say we weren't happy, BUT not wanting to be "those" parents, I took him to get his hair cut today. He's actually quite cute and he likes it so its all ok. But still, really???

Had a midwife appointment today too, it went well. I am 16 weeks today, I felt the baby move, like kick my hand, yesterday for the first time and that was so great. Gordon felt it on Sunday while we were laying in bed watching a movie. We are going to get an ultrasound in the next few weeks, probably around 19 weeks, just to make sure everything is looking good. We have decided to not find out the sex of the baby, which is going to be hard for me because I am an impatient person. We found out with both Ethan and Addison what we were having, so we think that the surprise will be fun.

Speaking of Addison, she really is turning into a toddler, tantrums, strong will and all. It's hard for me to try and transition into more of a discipline structure with her because she was my little angel baby, she was the most perfect baby anyone could want, and all of a sudden she has this will and stubborness that is new to me and hard for me to accept. It is what it is though and I am figuring it out :)

These past few weeks have been filled with some sad news of a couple who is very close to us whose marriage is over, and I think it has made Gordon and I appreciate how hard we have worked on our marriage and the love, commitment, and appreciation we have for each other has only grown deeper.

My mom flies out next week for a quick visit and I am so excited, and I can't wait to spend some time with her, although I know that she will be mostly dominated by Ethan, he LOVES his nanny.

Thats about it other than cooking, laundry, cleaning, errands, park, baths, hugs, boo boo's made better with a kiss, oh and speaking of kissing, better give the husband one before passing out from exhaustion in bed.......

Mel x

First Day

Today was FINALLY Ethan's first day back to school. He started a new school this year. Gordon and I decided to send him to a private, christian school. I did tons of research on the place before making the decision. The curriculum looks great, the teachers are all accredited and are state certified teachers. Its a K-8 grade school, so he will go to the regular public high school, we just think this will be a great start for him. I was already happy when we found out there were only 21 students in his class, and none of the classes go over 24 students. SO we are happy. Here are some pics from today, and one of Addison looking like she's 3 yrs old or something.

First Official Appointment

Today was our first official appointment with the midwife, meaning she drew my blood for all that stuff, and the pee sample, blood pressure, discussed more stuff. It was so great, she came to my house, and this time her assisstant (apprentice) came along too. They are both such amazing woman, I loved how we all just sat around in my living room chatting like we had known each other forever. Ethan was playing the Xbox the whole time, Addison was napping, it was just great. We discussed different testing you can get, or decline if you choose. Risks, benefits, etc. We talked about nutrition, and I found out some really neat info on stress hormones, and happy hormones and how your growing baby relates to them, and how you can really make the whole "being made" process a great one for your little unborn child.

We went to the beach this afternoon, we ended up staying for 3 hours, which is a first for us. Usually Addison is having a meltdown after about an hour, hour and a half max. We had a bonfire and roasted hot dogs and s'mores, the big kids played down in the surf for awhile, and it was a great afternoon/evening.

Thats it for now, I hope you all have a great Labor Day weekend and just chillax!!!!

Mel xoxo

11 weeks 3 days pregnant

Our Weekend

The tent I made for the kids

Inside the tent

It stayed up the ENTIRE weekend

The weekend went by way to fast, as usual. Gordon is going to New York tomorrow and won't be home until Friday, boo, but on the up side, he lands around noon and is coming straight home, thus starting the LOOOONNNG weekend for Labor Day, so that is something to look forward too.

We had fun though, we went to the beach Saturday and Sunday, which was much needed. The beach is such a great place for rejuvenating, I know I say that every time we go, but it really is, something about the sun, the sound of the waves crashing, the smell of the ocean, its so great!

I faced a fear on Sunday, I went ALL the way in. I never do that, I have this fear of the unknown, the stuff I can't see. I have been telling myself for a the past year that if I am going to LIVE here, 2 blocks from the ocean I really need to just get over it. I am missing out on all the fun. So gripping the hand of my friend, Claudia, sorry if I broke your fingers C!!! We ventured out. I had so much fun and I was not even scared once I got out there, jumping over and going under waves. Letting them carry us back to shore then running out again, next time we are bringing a body board, oh and I want to learn to surf now :) YEA ME!!

I am really excited because our small group is going to officially start meeting again, in two weeks after school gets back and everything is settled from summer. We are doing the Fireproof Series, and Gordon and I can't wait! We (him and I) have also decided that we are going to go through the Love Dare book, so that will be fun.

Also accomplished this weekend, we FINALLY got everything Ethan needs for school, uniforms, supplies, lunch box, shoes, socks and undies :) WHEW so glad thats done!

Ok thats about it for now, I hope you all have a fantastic week!!

Mel x

10 weeks, 5 days pregnant

Meeting #1

So we had our first meeting with our midwife last Friday. It was so great, especially because all of her visits will be done in our home, so no need for a babysitter, or to try and keep kids occupied while in doctors office.

She was so nice, and so helpful. She answered all of our questions, we talked about previous pregnancies, this pregnancy so far, previous births, how I felt about them, what I wanted differently. She gave lots of examples of different situations she had been in and how she dealt with them.

We discussed fees, and how to get the most out of our insurance, which should be 100% but due to "ignorance" it can be a struggle, but that is an entirely different blog.

We are just so so excited, she is coming back for another appt on Sept 5. Hopefully we will hear a heartbeat then :)

If anyone is interested or curious about midwives and homebirth, etc. I really love Ricki Lakes documentary "The Business of Being Born". Its very informative about he US healthcare system surrounding birth and I found it so so interesting.

Thats it for now.

Mel xoxo

9 weeks 5 days pregnant

Cash for Car

Well we did it, we saved enough cash to buy a car and have no car payment, yea! Well we still have one for G car, but we are working on getting that paid off. Baby steps people! Its not a clunker either, well maybe it could be traded as one right now under the government thing, but its really not. Its in good condition even though its 9 years old, and it hold all my kids, and has room for all the "stuff". I never thought I would be so happy and content to get an "old" car. Isn't it interesting how God can change your priorities :)

2000 Jeep Grand Cherokee

Moving on.... some sad news, the first friend I ever made here in California is moving tomorrow. Miranda and her family are moving to Hawaii, Ethan and her son, Jaylen, were in Kindergarten this past year together and we have had some fantastic times together and I really am going to miss them. Below is a pic we took today of the kids, Ethan, my friends two, and our other friend, Claudia's, kids, they were quite the brat pack all of them together.

From left: Jade, Ethan, Jade, Jaylen, Skye

Well I think thats it, oh except we have our first midwife appointment on Friday, and I am SO excited. I can't wait to get going with the whole homebirth process. I am going to do a video blog of that whole process, so I will post a link to that on Friday after its finished. I really want to get the awareness out that giving birth is not an illness, and its not something to be feared. Its a beautiful, natural process that we have all become a little to "clinical" about, in my opinion, and I just think it would be nice to share our story. So enjoy. Have a great week.

Mel xoxo

BLAH

Ok I think I need some female reassurance or something. The last few days I have really felt down. Like maybe depressed but not sure?! I feel ugly, fat, and sick. I haven't done laundry all week ( my wonderful husband has been doing it in the evenings), my house is a mess, I haven't cooked a single meal since I have been back, unless you count mac-n-cheese or pb&j (and thats for dinner people!).

I know its probably just this whole first trimester thing, but I really don't remember feeling this bad with the other two, and I DID NOT have this horrific "bump" which at this point, lets be honest, must be fat, with the other two either!!! I feel like I am failing miserably at mommyhood and being a good wife.

G has been great, he keeps reassuring me that its fine, he's fine, I look fine, he doesn't mind. But you all know that sometimes those reassurances just don't quite cut it, not into the deep corners of your mind. I feel panicky, and just kind of sad.

Maybe I am just grieving the loss of my beloved Granny, but logically I know its all going to be ok, she is in a better place, etc, etc. I can't distinguish between grieving for her and just feeling crap because I am pregnant and in the wonderful first trimester?!?!?!

SO if anyone has anything they would like to comment, or whatever, it would be nice. Anyone ever felt this way?? That would be nice to hear to. Thanks.

Mel xoxo

Craving...

Current Cravings

Hot Dogs with mustard, cheese, and pickle
Orange juice mixed with sparkling water
Cereal (any kind)
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Birthday Cake (buttercream frosting people, not that whipped cream crap)
AND thanks to Kelli Moss' post the other day, I would love some Chocolate Pie :)

Ethan got a haircut (trim) today finally. Here are some before and afters.

Before

After

I also just need to let everyone know what an amazing little man I have. I think he is the greatest big brother and will most definitely make a wonderful and caring daddy someday (should he choose that path in life) This morning I walked into the living room to see him and Addison on the chair and h had piled all the stuffed toys around her and covered her up, they sat there happy has clams for quite a long time.

Yes I know the chair is ugly, but I got this great deal on two oversized armcharis for $75 on craigslist, I just need some really great slipcovers, look how big just one is :)

Then later on, they were in the back and I saw Ethan buckling her into her stroller, it was such a precious moment, because he was being so gentle and sweet. I hope the love stays between them.

I am really glad to be back in HB, but I am missing my family. This is a fragile time for everyone, and I do wish I could be there for them.

However, life goes on, and so we must.

Mel xoxo

Sandra Kay Finney Jan 21 1943-Aug 3 2009

It happened last night, it happened really fast. My granny passed away. I cant believe the whirlwind it has been since my last blog post. I posted that with the thought that SOMEDAY she was going to die. Not 3 weeks from then. I arrived in town on July 16, Thursday. I was so excited to visit my granny the next day, its what I look forward to the most when I come back to town. We got up early Friday and came right down. We spent the whole day just sitting in the living room talking, I got to tell her I was pregnant again, we ate ice cream sandwiches and just enjoyed the day. She seemed ok, she was smiling and sitting up and fine. That was Friday, July 17.

I came back on Sunday, July 26. She didn't know I was coming and was not her usual happy, talkative self. She was in pain and even though she tried to sit in the living room, she kept just dozing off while sitting up and trying to hide her pain. It was a hard day, When I left I kissed her and told her I would see her on Tuesday before I left (which was supposed to be Wed July 28). Monday afternoon my mom called me to say she had been in Muskogee all day because my granny had woke up, and asked for all her kids to be with her because she felt like it was the end. I came down on Tuesday and my heart broke. My granny was not my granny anymore. She was in serious pain, she could not get out of bed, she looked exhausted. The hospice nurse, Nancy, who deserves a blog post of her own because even though I only met her on Tues, is wonderful, she came over on Tues. My entire family was here and she basically had "the talk" with us. She said that this was it, my granny was ready to die, her body was done, and to not expect to her to live through the weekend.
WHAT how can you comprehend the thought of 4 more days with someone that you love. Our family just rallied. We slept in the floor, we took turns at her bedside, we talked to her, we held her hand. Watching my grandpa slowly let go was amazing. We had a few "scares" throughout the rest of the week, which I think was a good thing in the end, because we were all able to go through the initial emotions a few times, feel them and deal with them. By the time Sat, Aug 1 rolled around everyone was very tired and a little confused because she was holding strong, and even though she was "out of it" she didn't seem like she was near death. Sunday came and went. Monday around noon it started down hill. We got the call at 10pm that this really was it, me, my mom, and my sister all jumped in the car and got down to Muskogee. We pulled up to the house at 11:15pm, ran in, my mom leaned over her and said "Mama, its ok I am here, you can go now" and my beautiful, strong, loving Granny looked right at my mother, and took her last breath.

It was surreal, it was beautiful, it was horrible. She died just how she wanted. She had all 6 of her kids, 5 of her grandkids and her husband with her.

I am going to miss her more than I can even say. I hope that my life can honor her life.

Mel xoxo

Wow, ok....

So the latest and greatest from our family is.....we are expecting baby no.3!!!!! No it was not an accident but it was certainly a surprise. We just found out a few days ago and I can't keep things like this a secret so here it is :) Our due date is March 24, 2010. We found out the gender of our first two, but we are going to let this be a surprise. Also the most exciting thing for me is that we are hoping for a homebirth, with a midwife, for this one. We have two consultations with two different midwives on July 30. Having a homebirth has always been dream for me. I will def keep everyone posted on that awesome process. We have always talked about a big family so this is really crossing the line to head in that direction. AHHH I am kinda in shock, 3 kids!! We are so blessed and so happy.

That Kind of Love.....

My granny is dying. There I have said it, well written it, out loud. I hate that. I hate that I even have this topic to "blog" about. For as long as I can remember my granny has been full of life, laughter, and fun. She took me, when I was 3, to get my ears pierced while she was babysitting me one day, with out my mothers knowledge. She bought me baby chicks for Easter one year. She let me pretend to be a puppy and eat frosted shredded wheat cereal out of a bowl (like a puppy) while walking like a puppy up and down her stairs without getting annoyed (I was making a big mess). My grandpa has been a little more subtle but lets just say my addiction to coffee started at a very young age thanks to him :) My granny opened her home to me to live when I needed a place. She told me about love, and loss. She listened to me when I cried to her about love, and loss. She never judged, never "disapproved" of me, she helped me feel that what I felt, what I was going through was real and true and I had the right to feel how I did. We talked for hours and hours about life and adventure. She showed me that in this life, even when you don't have much, just make sure you have love. Appreciate and cherish those closest to you, and it will create a bond so deep that nothing can shake it. We have an amazing and unique family. All 30+ and more of us :) I believe that to the bottom of my soul. We have learned that even when life is hard, love remains. Watching my granny and grandpa go through this, through this hell on earth. She, trying to be strong and stoic for him, who desperately needs her to live. Him trying to be optimistic, nearly to the point of denial for her, who needs him to let her go. Its a beautiful love. It has taken a lifetime to build, but the legacy it leaves will last for generations. I pray and hope that someday my marriage and family can be a glimmer of what they built. When people think or talk about "That kind of love" it is their picture I see.

Mel xoxo

Toilet Paper and Cupcakes

Addison about 4 seconds after she woke up this morn :)

Loves this horse, and Baby Einsteins that she is watching

Today was GREAT :) Addison seems to be feeling better, still snotty but not so bad, I think we are nearing the end of this yuckiness. I finally got to go to the gym, after 7 days of not going, I know to some that is not a big deal, but over the past year I have really become a "gym bunny", I go at LEAST 4 times a week. SO the fact that it has been 7 days I was beginning to feel insane. Got that out of my system, came home and started making cupcakes. I had already planned on making them, G has a new boss starting tomorrow and I thought it would be nice to make some cupcakes to say welcome. No not trying to suck up, just being nice :)

G has had two already, Ethan is dying for his second, but will not get it until after dinner, as long as he eats his broccoli...literally :)

On another note, I find it amusing that you can create two beings and they can both be so different, case in point, when Ethan was a toddler he never found things in the bathroom amusing, i.e. the toilet paper roll or the toilet water. Addison, on the other hand, is quite obsessed with these things, the photos below demonstrate two seperate occasions (over the course of 3 days) where someone in the house failed to shut the bathroom door and also failed to keep an eye on what she was doing obviously :)

First find

Second find last night, what is not as visible, the soaking wet streaks of TP on the walls :)

Mel xoxo

Today was a Lesson

Ethan and Jade running from the waves

Today started good, well Addison is sick so thats not good, but the morning was nice and leisurely. We headed to the beach about 930 with some friends and stayed for about an hour and a half. I love going to the beach and I love taking the kids. I find it amazing still to know that they are getting to experience their childhood here. There is something so refreshing and soul renewing about going to the beach, I don't know if its this great expanse of water, the sound of the waves crashing, the sunshine, its probably a combination but its just fantastic. I hope that someday our kids can appreciate it like I do.

We got home and did lunch, then all three of us went down for a nap :) When I woke up, cause I heard Addison crying, I had a monster headache and so that never helps a day. I started thinking about the afternoon and was feeling pretty sorry for myself because I decided I was going to be bored out of my mind. I couldn't go anywhere, my bike trailer does not get here until friday, and I have not been able to go to the gym all week, because of said trailer and Addison is sick, and so all in all I was kind of grumpy about the impending afternoon.

I decided to fill up the kids pool so there would at least be that to do. Addison went BACK to bed for about half an hour, in the meantime Ethan had got up, spotted the filled pool and was ready to play. I took an Excedrin, and just made a decision to just ENJOY the afternoon, slow and all.

My beautiful boy

She poses now when she sees the camera :)

And you know what, I DID :) I just fell in love with my kids all over again. I took pics of them, and listening to Ethan tell his stories in the language and way that only a 5 yr old can, I forgot how awesome it is to just listen. When Addison got up she obviously wanted in on the action, snotty nose and all. So they played together, it was so wonderful. He was throwing buckets of water on her, she was laughing hysterically about it :) She will have her day when she can get him back, I keep trying to explain this to him, he doesn't seem to get it.

I am always trying to plan things for my days, be busy, run here and there and everywhere. I don't really like just sitting at home. I think today though was a lesson for me. A lesson to just STOP and enjoy. I don't need to be so busy, so busy that the precious moments that happen in the slow nothingness pass me by or I don't notice them.

Ethan making his "water glove"

He was being all pensive talking to me

Kisses for Brother

Enjoy the moment, enjoy the simplicity of my children's youth, enjoy the slow nothingness. Today I did :)

Mel xoxo

Finally

I am doing it, I am starting our family blog. Hopefully there will be some contribution from the other adult Mattey of the house, but it will mostly be from me. We have finally found a place that we both call home. Huntington Beach, CA USA. We believe we will be here for the rest of our lives and we look forward to the adventure and life ahead. Ethan and Addison will never really know any different than this being their home, and for that I am glad. I have the old fashioned ideals that you basically grow up in the same house, go to the same school, church, ball field, etc. It gives a sense of home and to me that is a wonderful gift to give to our children. I will get this blog rolling and get it more interesting with pictures, videos and things, but for now I just had to get the first post done! So here it is. I hope you enjoy experiencing our life through my point of view :)

Mel xoxo